p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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