I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
