I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
