is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
