help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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