Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
