The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
