Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
