I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize