Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
