I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
