just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize