idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
