dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
