Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
love makes seman taste better
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
