we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
