Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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