Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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