he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's never too late to be topless.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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