babies were throwing up all over the place
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
