I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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