She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
