Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He kissed a someone with a penis
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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