Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
