Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
