he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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