shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
