All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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