he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
