Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
