I understand Curling. That high.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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