I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
