what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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