I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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