i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I faked an abortion last night.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
