So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
