i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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