Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She bit a glass in half.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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