it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Randomize
