Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
