New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize