Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
