Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
