whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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