I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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