I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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