She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
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