Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
