HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
there is puke in my bra ... again
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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