Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
