I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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