My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
