No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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