May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
