How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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