ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
