Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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