i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
