i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
