How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
