kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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