From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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