if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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