I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
