I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize