Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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