We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
