actually, I'm a sock model
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
